Real or Fantasy

Real, am I?
Fantasy? I could be…
But does the real satisfy me?
Some would only stare
Others may even drool
While others may envision another
As they begin to stroke their tool
Your cock is hardening
Your balls feel tight
If things go well
You’ll get laid tonight
Excitement building
The bulge in your pants grows
Thinking about the profiles you have seen
And now the ones you chose
Fantasies to fulfill
Needs to satisfy
And partake in lusty activities
Meant to gratify
Imagine my body
eager for your touch
May need you to use a bit of creativity,
But really it doesn’t take all that much
Its your fantasy
go ahead and dream
That I am hot and horny
And how you are gonna make me scream….
You imagine giving it to me like I have never had it before
Bucking and squirming and screaming for more
Imagiine in your mind ,my naked body as you feast your eyes,
And your cock hardens with desire focusing on the center of my thighs,
Imagine it hot, moist and glistening pink
So inviting, you wanna bury your face in its nectar and drink,
Probe your tongue between my pussy lips,
And stroke my clit with your finger tips
Pulses quicken, so does the pace
I reach for your cock as I cum on your face
I lick your cock once then twice
Ands then swallow it all,…isn’t that nice??
Balls in hand cock in mouth
Suck stroke massage squeeze
Pleasure you while on my knees ,
We spoke of this moment
And how it would be,
Desired things you would do to me
And the ways you’d take me to X2C
Sex loving hours spent
Touch here, stroke there
Kiss my pussy as you shave me bare
Playful hands that cup and squeeze,
And bring a shaking to my knees…
sometymes random other tymes determined skill,
Mastering a lovers art, a deep erotic thrill
Minds that delve and hands that explore
Everything and then something more
Fantasy we would bring to life, for real
Erotic sensations, pleasures to feel
Of come and go
Here and went
All those wasted hours spent
Touch here, stroke there
As long as you are satisfied, you don’t really care
Roaming hands , lips that suck
Oh baby you want me!! lets fuck!!
U want to cum already
I should have not made you wait so long
Cuz after all,
What was I waiting for?
The experience has left me wanting more
The mood is set, candles lit,
You grab my pussy squeeze my tit
Throw me down and tell me Im the shit!!
Ram your cock in, pull it out
Yeah that’s the shit Im talking about
One more tyme then just for fun,
You slam it hard and then you’re done
Real is over as quick as it began,….
Oh yeah baby you certainly are the man!!
It happens, yes,more than once
But if twas my fantasy I'll not let it happen twice
I swallow it all, and smile-that’s nice!!
Real? I am…
Fantasy ?I can be
But the real of it all,
is the fantasy
is what satisfies me

no escape?

This is what I was referring to...it just doesnt work....anything I give example to you would say I made up...I wouldnt have to make it up if you told me what really went on...since you dont you wont, its safe to say my little story in my head is true, but you will never admit confess breakdown or in any way shape or form sway from your portrayal of perfection.. Yes I feel you have wronged me. Period end of story=- you can say that you havent. I made it up,,,I caused it....I did the action myself....yes I feel you wronged me. You delivered things to me in ways I would never do to another human being-and I cant argue with you about it, cuz you havent done anything wrong you never do anything wrong or incorrectly or in imporoer timing- Your truth is different than the one I know or experience...(I know Im delusional crazy fucking bitch...I just cant get it right) Ill never get it right bwecause you dont give it to me right- I cant change you I dont want to change you....there can be no change if there isnt anything that changes- .there can never be any understanding to any situation when it is like that...the only thing I can do is change that...because you wont/cant/refuse to view it that way/or choose to believe that I created the scenario....IMaybe you and whomever u choose , whatever you choose , your partner or your position..hopefully it works for you...good luck... I have a one sided relationship that I know both sides of all I ever wanted was a partner that felt I deserved the other side as it was not as intended or wished, or pretended, or played the part for it to be and I can never/could never/ will never have that/share that/ with you.
and yes I do believe i was the only one hurt by the situation, I dont believe that you are capeable of feelings, I think you hide from your real feelings and act accordingly, but not always in the proper time frame or with the proper participants. You are right puit together by none other than your mouth,,,,it is what I make up and that works for you because you can deny it and be honest in your denial because thats not exactly the way that it happened....and therefore never have to own up to how close or far off from the truth my fabrication was and you can go on about tending to whatever you want to tend to, and feel justified because you are angry at being accused,and rightly so because you havent done what you are accused of but never disclose any ownership to any of it....
I will always care about you and wonder why you chose the path and delivery the way you did....i also know that any expectations I have of deserving to know, are mute deaf and will remain dumb in your eyes forever...or never even considered because they are ludicras to you at the getgo. I could ask all the wuestions I want and at the end of the session, the argument instigated would be my own, the results same as we've known them to be and none of my questions would have any answers...because of course I am insane and dont get it and never will...
I dont see where I fit in with your life, why you would want to now include me in parts of your life that have always been kept from me from the beginning. I dont fit in where I can get in and find it extremely unsatisfying, very disturbing...and once again its of my own creation as for the reverse of that...well I dont do drugs anymore, I have a job that I cant fuck off because I cant keep my head on straight, I have people that love and support me and the decisions I make instead of labeling me a loon, people who explain things that dont make sense instead of telling me I caused the scenario or making it out as if i did and friends and family that I can spend the holidays with because I AM a part of the family and there is no reason to be ashamed of knowing me, loving me or wanting to be with me...so I just dont see where you fit into that picture....nor can I remember a time of ever thinking you wanted to.I can mark the days off a calender for 2 years I spent in a relationship with you as being Alone most of the time. for ur family birthdays and get togethers, Christmas and New years.....You chose with who and where you wanted to be...and of course you have every right to make those decisions...and you did....I had no part in those decisions but yes a ton of regret came with every decision you made.I dont think we even spent Valentines day you and I but what does that matter This year Ill make it up to the fool who fell in love with you and let herself be discarded, disregarded time and time again....Im gonna love her like no man has ever been able to love, and she is gonna smile as if she had a thousand lovers and never ever let herself feel unloved again...
Please dont try to destroy that happiness, just because you can

A letter to Shame

Dear Shame,

You no longer reside in me …
You came uninvited …
You snuck up on me …
I’m erasing all the faces you used …
Your history no longer has power over me …
I am no longer your slave …
For the truth has set me free … it wasn’t my fault …
I was a victim … I committed no crime …
But that’s what you do, you lie, you confuse …
You point fingers when the problem is you …
How dare you demand I stay quiet …
Silence was the biggest weapon you held over me …
I have no relation with you … this day I break free …
I realize you are just a lie, created to keep me down …
Today you’re evicted … it’s been way too long …
There’s a life that’s waiting for me …
The prison you kept me in … I’ve now found the key …
I have a voice … I will no longer remain silent … I’m breaking free
I demand you go somewhere else …
You no longer reside in me …



I did not write this, but certainly have felt it...

http://www.lovefraud.com/blog/2012/01/06/letters-to-lovefraud-to-the-liar-named-shame/