slap in the face-

again and again
havent learned yet- WTF???when?????
fucking played for the same stupid bitch i've always been
For him I held a weakness- a soft spot, gave him all my heart
says we're gonna be together, yet makes sure that we are apart
childish games pretending all this time
never revealing true feelings and making sure that he annihilated mine
I'm in a lost and confused place right now
the only one of us affected by the situation somehow
he gets so mean, and says hateful viscous things
not oblivious to the hurt it brings
there is something wrong when you get too mad to care
especially after just deciding days before that we didn't want to leave it there
in that state of conscience mind that allows the relationship to decay
because its been neglected and dealt with that way.
what has happened to make it acceptable this long
Its not the way you treat someone you love
It's wrong
He questions everything
constantly questioning me
The guilty eye pointing the finger
resulting derogatory
defined,
destined and doomed
malicious intentional and without consequences
not factual but assumed
The shadowed darkness
that silence hid behind
left behind an angry portion of a man no longer kind
you wont see the mirror
the sun no longer does shine
your total discarding of any feeling
and complete annihilation of and disregard for mine
how can he say them
does he believe them to be true?
If he does then I know I cant believe he ever meant it
when he said "I love you"
he said I was stupid boring and dull,
in an instant got pissed and started being hateful
i dont know where it comes from
it tears me in two
it in't powssible to love someone this much
that hates you that much too.

a wreck

no steering wheel
get a handle on the bar

but then again the visions
shattered windshields and
dented fenders and nosey onlookers
passerby's hurried fast
and love in my life
and the losers of life
and that u-turn I just passed
ending of beginnings and started to finish last
put a foot forward
smile grin bear it and
ive forgotten how to smile
being with you all the while
laughter faded grass no longer grew
faded flowers undistinguished from the artificial
lost in false reality warped truth hidden from view
you're finally done with pretending
and im thoroughly done with you
loving someone you cant get close to
sadness that defeats the heart
can only lessen the hurting it does
when you keep it farther apart


seatbelt buckled, sunglasses on
crank up the radio and
get to moving on
outlook fresh
look out clean
wiped out versions
of what was intended
and what it really means
alone
Ill pick the direction
and drive as fast as I want
and look upon that passenger that never sat in front
no longer a bicycle just me and a brighter view
cant help but hope for the best as I drive for the last time away from you