Oblivious

Beside myself,
Existing only in a state of disbelief
Taken back by your despicable deeds
Retreating from your obsessive control
Abusive episodes you try to justify
Y? That is the question.
Explain if you possibly could,
Distance is the only thing I want.

 Belittling Me, you just wont stop
You wont let go

Yet constantly push  me farther away
Offer lame apologies, but never rectify.
Unsung, a facetious lullaBYE 

        

Shit, Like This, Pisses Me Off
                                                                                                                                                                                                                             What is wrong with simply just fucking?
   and loving every minute of it?
Live,
no pretense.
Wire.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    silken smooth bodies glisten in thier heat,
Its so hot!
 Connecting one to the other ,
 seemingly familiar
enemy or lover...
what causes your heart to race?
 Energy
 Electric
 Life...
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    blood flowing through the veins.                                                                                     
 heat seeking fusion
 living
 loving
 hating
confusion
pulsating
pursuing
Ill- Lusion
Twisted...
.Made into our reality...

What remains?
Tingles up and down my spine
Eratic.. . erotic... Exotic ...and  Toxic...
myne...                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                   Poyzin ..
Elixir divine
reasoning I cant  find.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                     My breath comes faster yet,
My heart beats wicked fast...
It does not beat for you.
I live without you and I forget about you
and you still affect me this way...
 spiraling toward extacy...
 back and forth
 push and pull ,
harder, faster
thrusting me, lusting me
 each glistening breathless body demanding release
I  am close.
 You are closing in
so far apart I don't know where to begin
mine escapes me...its gone...want replaced with cold
Exploding
your hate into me
empty
you emptying your seed                                                                                                                                                                                                                Sensuality transforming natural elements by unnatural means....
Imploding
 Deep
dark
Undoing....much like this sickness seems.
cover me in semen
smother me in potent liquid kisses
Intoxicating
such intensity
swallowed in its immensity
This new found want
 Indescribeable...(UNSPEAKABLE)
Hunger Inside
insatiable untameable
Who decieves in this age old power play? you excite me and delight me and pleasure me in every way...but you don't give me what I deserve...
you cant give me what I need
you hinder my thoughts, I cant think with you this close
but given time to think that's when I hate you the most
beyond a ruined past, we don't share a thing
and the only time I don't hate you...is when we are fucking....   
                    Tying me up and sucking me biting me and fucking me
                              You Did THIS!!
                                                                         You call it Love,   Which doesnt exist
                                                                 Deny Refuse Resist

Solitary SeductionDecember 13, 2009 at 10:58am




There’s a tingle a yearning a pulsing in that quivering little lip,
Hot deep surrounding pleasure senses zone,
Fingers part pretty pink pussy lips
Slips n2 wetness

Wordless whimpers
Desire pulsates in frenzy
Hungrily
Secret fantasies
Explored without limits
Passion
Perversely infectious
Plaything
for a time
Manipulated moments

become realities

silky pleasure sensors satisfied

Solitary Seduction

summary

I wanted to love you forever, Yet settled for right now You said I could love you perfectly You destroyed that somehow. Of purpose, your own devastation course Detached of any emotional involvement No guilt no accountability, no remorse You took from me, and took your fill You emptied me, and you are empty still. How does that happen, where did it go I gave my hopes of a future, To a man I can never know. Snuffed my expectations, Vanished into thin air… Scarred my core so severely I’d never know its there. Childhood fancies of an awaited true love, Superior, Regal and divine Vanish in an instant and forgotten Once upon a time. Twice Ill never see Thrice cursed in existence A multiDimensional … Reality.

Distant

all the things we never bother to talk about-theyre killing me-cant even figure out what im trying to hold onto-and why I would even try Sad that you have left But something is made quite clear You are no further removed from me with 500 miles between us, Than when you were right here. Unattached and distant, Not wanting to get too close And then to act as if oblivious I guess that’s what got to me the most. The subtle changes Intentional or unaware? Preoccupied with various thoughts, Neither chose to share. You seem not to be bothered I don’t know where to start. Alternate Agendas and Separate missions Complete disconnection of Mind, bodies and heart. Silenced By the wondering thoughts Plagued with nagging doubts, Bombarded Questioning… I usually do without. Disturbed by the onslaught of sudden miss-trust On my own I wrestle with things we should have discussed. Not very long ago Silliness was easily dismissed Until you made it such an issue That we had open mouth kissed. I didn’t understand your apparent disgust then I don’t care to understand it now Im just trying to put it all together in some kind of order, So maybe I can possibly understand somehow. It started out friendly and nearly hassle free I made the mistake of thinking We enjoyed each others company. Perhaps we overdid it Or took for granted the time we spent I noticed several changes But never asked what they meant It seemed perhaps almost trivial To mention each and every little thing And you nonchalant way of shrugging it off As really no big thing. If nothing else , I considered you as friend Until you told me you had none, I wasn’t anything other than usual When you are just fucking someone! So now that we seem to no longer fuck I might as well scream why I think you suck! One of the many That I must make mention Our dwindling to nothing sex life Is a high source of tension Perhaps you are just no longer attracted, Or those messages you ignore when im around Maybe you are just distracted. No longer feel anything close to being desired Your simple “Thank you “after orgasm, Makes me feel like someone you hired You used to tell me I was beautiful And made me feel that way But now it always disrespectful And im hurt by the things you say. Just one of your sluts As you so charmingly put it How can I be a slut When we don’t even fucking do it? From beautiful to slut Compliments replaced by hurtful rips and seemingly obligation of occasional kiss Are given with thin tightly closed lips

Discarded without given reason
left to wonder why
you are a narcisstic sociopath
who swears he doesn't lie
you hide from accountability
in such a cowardly way
never intending for a minute
to supply what you say
offer no explanation ,
although Ive called your bluff
no excuse for your hateful actions
you've simply had enough
your twisted ways of viewing
the actions you justify
narcisstic pathological and delusional
a liar who claims he doesn't lie
witholding truth, creating situations that otherwise would not exist
chalk em up, dish em out
and scratch me off your list
and when you think ive forgiven
as if Im oblivious to what you have done
you pull out another intrusive action
and project that IM THE offensive ONE
you purposely avoid that wich might reveal the game you play
and actively submerse yourself in fantasy decieving in every way
I played the fool
for way too long
dealing with your insane accusations
your perception of the truth is
more than distorted, its wrong.

Dear Jane

My "dear Jane" letter much to my surprise
was 2 lines; an apology , reference in past tense
without further ado our end summarized.

Much like the recipients name space
already been forgotten or intentionally left blank
you ve placed me in the past put behind you
while I still struggle to think.

your apology adds to my confusion
you guess, you wanted, you did and you're sorry
I had a break down in a hooptie ( theoreticaly speaking)
and you broke out a ferrari...
it didnt work but you really tried
I put all my eggs in one basket
and although you wanted them scrambled
they were more like southern fried

you really did love
we just werent meant to be
those times that meant the world to you
cant help but to agree.

you did try, did love me
but love you I still do
You arent willing to change a thing
done...over...Through

just like magik
you decide
come go
get off the ride

Just like that
so quick to detach
your deeds and doings
never match

i love you
i hate you
I know I never knew you